less exactness is a phrase right?

... my Sketchbook Project shirt arrived yesterday! it's kind of big and with a little washing and drying i'm a little disappointed the american apparel shirt didn't really shrink a whole lot. oh well. i'm still wearing it today anyway! I only have about 3 or 4 pages started in my sketchbook and i don't like any of them. i have ideas of what i want to do in there but when i sit down to do anything i just sketch like i'm being forced to sketch. it's like when i went to art school, i remember in our foundation year drawing classes we'd be forced to draw an upsidedown chair or a crumpled piece of paper for like 3 hours and it made me not like drawing. i've always painted, but i'm glad that when i started tattooing it forced me to draw again. but those drawings are still influenced and inspired by others (the clients ideas). i think it's just a matter of me sitting down and getting to draw whatever i want. it doesn't scare me, i just can't think of what to draw!
to be honest i never thought i fit in at art school because i couldn’t allow myself the looseness and carefree approach i felt like a lot of other students took. i feel like i come at things more like i want to make them exact. i’m not a perfectionist but i want the images to all make sense when you see them, and i want to understand it and i want it to look like it’s supposed to look (like i see it through my eyes… you know, the right way, ha!). i can appreciate it when people make work that way… but i can’t imagine allowing myself the freedom to draw things as they aren’t, so to speak. i was always good at drawing what i saw, or if i had to copy anything, but i struggled when it came to coming up with something from my own imagination.

it all comes back to this conversation with my sister the other day where we were talking about high school. we right-minded people are supposed to be more creative, as i’m told and tend to favor less-exactness, you know processes that you can sort of weave your way through and results that are more subjective then anything. but to me, the clear beginning and the exactly mapped out route with the one and only final answer are way more appealing. that way there is no (second) guessing. so take math and English for example. even though i consider myself an “artist” and am left handed i just always loved math! There, i said it. my sister could bull$h!t her way through English essay answers whereas i hated trying to come up with summaries in my own words of other people’s ideas or thoughts (or facts). i love a good ol’ fashioned straight forward math equation: Here is the question; Give me the exact answer. now, does this make me less creative? i don’t think so. i think i just have OCD.